Welcome to Tooch.COM!

This is a minimalist website, not because arid Scandinavian whitespace is appealing to me, but because at this moment everything I have to say is being said by Down Cows. Maybe one day that will change. If I were you, though, I wouldn't keep clicking Refresh.

I'm not a writer, but by accident I did write this. Salon Magazine bought it then killed it. Such is fame, a fleeting thing monster.

There used to be a copyright notice here, but c'mon, seriously.